good bye 10, hello 11

I'm saying good bye to 2010, it's 12:47 new years eve or i guess now it's new years day so it's already 2011. I've never been one for the new year resolution, making self promises that i have no intention of keeping. i however do have a few hopes for this coming year. I would like to see me lose some more weight, I'm almost to my goal and i would really like to get there soon. I would like to take another nice family vacation maybe even two. I want to pick two things from my long "bucket list" and do them. (I realize that i didn't do anything last year and that makes me very sad) I'd also like to find someone to share my life with, I know I know that is corny as hell but it's true. Some people are OK being alone, I'm not one of them. I want to share myself with someone. I don't need to but i want to. Oh well I'm sure there is a lot more... 2010 was bad and good. i got a promotion, and a raise but a lot of stress and responsibility. I got full custody of my kids, but it proves my ex wants nothing to do with them which really hurt my daughter. I became an aunt (no bad side there i love my little Mae Mae). I'm looking forward to a wonderful year =)

Stood Up....

And thrilled about it.. that's right what girl admits to being happy about being stood up, a girl that has a court date with her ex husband, that's who.
That was one of the deciding factor in the custody hearing. Since he didn't bother to show up. (which i didn't expect since it's been so long since seeing the kids) the hearing office ruled in my favor, with sole custody of my kids. Saying that if he didn't care to be there then he didn't deserve them. And i agree!!

blah

I believe the title pretty much sums it all up. I'm feeling basically blah, it's 1 am and I'm not exactly tired. My little man just had a bad dream and the princess is sick. The weekend is shot which makes me want to cry because i hate wasted weekends.

who's your daddy

tonight my sweet baby boy asked "where me daddy?" and i had no clue what to day. I was shocked that he asked at all since he's only 2 1/2 years old. I guess i never thought about the explaining. I was always worried about the impact him not being around would have on the kids.
So I smiled, told him i didn't know. But it was OK because I am your mommy and daddy. He said OK dada. I responded, just call me mommy. He laughed, told me i was silly and went back to playing.

hit & run..

Sometime yesterday (Friday) i must have been so engrossed in work that i didn't realize i was hit by a freaking truck. When i woke up i had felt the twinge of soreness in my muscles from the butt busting workout the night before. By Friday evening I couldn't move without hurting and today I'm not feeling much better, shoulders, back, sides and abs are all crying. The new spot exercises obviously are working. BTW today was a wonderful weigh in -4.2 =)

OMG i did it.

I worked out tonight, I have been for the past few weeks but mostly on the machine or free weights. I decided to give the video another chance and the most amazing thing happened when the evil Jillian said to do push ups, i did them!! That's right i did the first set. (couldn't get my ass up to do the second round but its a damn good start)

Very exciting stuff going on over here. =)

Reflection Unknown

Mirror Mirror on the wall.. why do you torture me like this. Who knew they sold fun house mirrors at Target?? I sure didn't til i hung the thing in my bathroom. The first full length mirror allowed in my house in years and its tormenting me. Cause its not showing the short fat squishy version of me, it's showing a slender pretty girl. Damn mirror must be broke cause that ain't me reflecting back or is it. Maybe I just have such a twisted perception of myself that i don't really know what I look like.

Slipping

I'm not exactly sure what happened but I'm slipping again. haven't counted points in days. oh wait yes, I know exactly what happened. First thanksgiving eve, then thanksgiving, then post thanksgiving. I weighed in.. and not to any surprise i was up. With renewed desire i was going to get back on track. (Oh and I've been sick since Thursday, so there was cold medicine being taken, which i refuse to work out on after last time i did that and fell off the glider and busted my ass, and back and arm. It wasn't pretty but funny as hell once i crawled to safety. so i haven't worked out since last Tuesday) Saturday came and I did good, until the evening which honestly I don't think was that bad, cause it was a small portion. I went out to eat with a friend I haven't seen in a while and tossed it all to the wind cause nothing else matters when he's around. Today started off again with motivation to do well and I did til around dinner. I was hungry, frustrated, overwhelmed and tired. I didn't feel like cooking and I had to run out anyway so we picked up Chinese. I know it was a lot of points which sucks but probably not as bad as I'm pretending because I had only a small amount of rice and mostly veggies and shrimp. but I feel really full which may just be cause I'm so damn bloated on top of it all. I want a hug!!

Week 1

I did it!! I won the challenge, 2.2 pound loss for week 1. I'm glad but since it was a friendly bet with my best friend its kind of bitter sweet cause I wanted her to do good too (just not as good as me lol). I've calculated it and if I can stay on plan and loss 1.25 pound a week then I will meet my goal in 6 months. By next summer I'll be a skinny bitch =} I really like that thought. Especially since I'm really thinking about going on a cruise. Me strutting around in a bikini.. yea right but I'll at least look better in a one piece.

The challenge

OK so I have not blogged in quite a while as you can see. However inspired by the lovely and clever littlefatme I am again doing so. If nothing more then to get the thoughts out of my head. We are both on the long and painful journey of weight loss. But some where a few months ago, i think my little motivation-mobile broke down and I have been kinda just hanging out in Taco bell waiting for it to get fixed. I kept talking about going again but damn it's just so fun and tasty that I didn't want to. Well this week like so many weeks before I said hey I'm going to start up my diet again and she was right there encouraging me along. I got to the on ramp and looked back at the glittery cheesy goodness of land of fast food and just before I made a U turn speeding for a burrito IT happened: The Challenge. She called me out, said that I couldn't lose more weight in a week then she could. Now I try to think that I'm not predictable but I'm 100% sure she got exactly the reaction she was looking for. Which was me jumping back on plan as hard and fast as i could. My diet of choice is weight watchers, I did it before so i know it works. I went shopping and bought all kinds of healthy low point foods, 75% of my kitchen now has numbers written on the boxes in black sharpie marking its point value. I'm working out again and have done so every night this week and I'm sore enough to prove it. Saturday is the big day so wish me luck. You are going down littlefatme. (that is not me being mean, you can find her and all her wonderful talent at littlefatme.blogspot.com)