Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Heartless


Recently I had cards read by the fabulously wonderful Rae Jillian http://www.ether.com/CallButton/RaeJillian/7885075.aspx
and to my shock it wasn't too bad. In fact it was a very positive reading, despite a rocky start. My life appears to have several positive things going for me right now, however the good is being hidden by a wave or more so flood of negativity. Mainly from me. I guess i'm so used to disappointment that i'm subconsciously being my own road block and not taking the necessary action to just get it done. It's taking me a while longer then i though to realize that the 200 lb sofa weight is gone (my ex's main job was to hold down the couch so it wouldn't escape) and now i really do have the chance to make things happen for me with out them being destroyed.

Towards the end of the reading i slipped into girly mode and asked what she saw in the way of love. And not the answer was not a surprise, my entire reading was completely heartless. No love in sight. now i know that doesn't' mean forever, and right now it's probably the best thing for me. Giving me the opportunity to focus on me and the kids but a lil lovin would be nice and kinda appreciated.

I asked her if the universe was saying that i should just give up on men all together and switch sides, if you get my drift. She reshuffled, asked a simple question (the exact wording escapes me) Is Ree gay, and pulled a card from the deck.
The freaking Queen of Hearts, holding a flaming rainbow.
And that explains why i have such bad luck with guys.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

and a drink


smiles, greetings and a drink
relaxed conversation and a drink
silence and a drink
a stolen kiss covered by false apologies
a drink, and another drink
aggressive roaming hands
protests muffled by demanding kisses
torn clothes
pulled hair
over powered
immobilized
violated
bruised
harsh cruel words
heart broken
trust broken
love broken
I'm broken
tear stained cheeks
whimpers in the dark
and a drink