Atlas

My baby brother called today frantic and strung out. Begging for help. So i made the 3 hour drive to get him and brought him back home for another round of detox. This time unlike the other he called me and i can't turn my back on him. Needless to say I'm lost an scared, i know this is stupid but what if i fail him and cant keep him clean. what if i can't help him through this. WHY in the hell do i always take the world on my little shoulders....
I feel alone and I just want to curl up and cry. and wish even more that i had someone to hold me and tell me it would all be OK. That i could do this and that i wont fail.

Universe Smiles

I woke and my mind was filled with surprise and thoughts of Fred.. a wonderful dream where we were together. You guided me out of the darkening forest.. while being chased by wolves. The rustling of the leaves, the growls and snarls, the fear inside me. you held my hand tighter and encouraged me to run, to not give up, to keep moving forward despite the overwhelming fear... we escaped the darkness, stumbled and collapsed onto each other, i laid in your arms.. absorbing the brightness of the day, and stared back into the treeline.. and watched the threat retreating.

Once i climbed out of bed and the day began the dream left me..but occational thoughts of you returned. Then that evening you called me. It was like the universe knew that i needed to hear your voice, and it was wonderful. The universe smiled a blessing on me...and that blessing was my Freddy.